Searching for answers...

I looked up at the night sky at the pale moon and scattered clouds with tears welling up in my eyes. I always used to do this in my childhood when I was hurt badly. I used to feel like God is looking down upon me from somewhere up in there. The knowledge that I'm having a glimpse of the stars whose light is reaching my eyes after travelling millions or billions of light years and that I'm having a vision of the past made me reflect on the wonders of the universe and about the power that we address as God...
I felt protected whenever I looked up in there. Night sky used to motivate me, inspire me and strangely gave me a sense of inner peace.
But today nothing helped. The pale moon and scattered clouds along with occasional mild lightning made me feel like I'm looking at a symbolic replica of my own life at the moment, or rather what I'm feeling at the moment.
My life has reached such a turn today that I realised many things. Things that I thought were my biggest positives proved to be my biggest negatives. All the compliments I have received so far in my life flashed in my mind and I felt a strange sense of loss.
Where have I failed, what has happened, why even my noblest of intentions turned into something so bad...
Today I have to get the answers and move forward... To never turn back again...to never look back at the dark times...